Almost a year

Hi everyone, i don't if anyone is reading this blog but ah well it has been almost year, almost, since my last post.

And i figured i should post again with so many things changing around me now.

People, time and school.

If any of my friends manage to scramble on this blog,

you found my inner mind.

Welcome.

Alright so let me begin, i ended my 1st sem of my 2nd year here at NAFA.

How time flies so quickly.

Yet in this 1.5 years so much have changed.

As we are approaching exam week, with project submissions due and concerts coming up, many of us are really drained.

And with me taking an extra module this sem, it's yet another added stress.

The teacher is strict too.

To comfort myself, i will always think that this is nothing compared to O levels,

the fatigue that eats into your mind then.

And worse, what if i had stayed on JC and am taking my A levels now?

This is small compared to those above,

i guess this is where i find my energy to carry on.

Recently there's been a shift in my mindset about my social circle,

what is happening and what may happen.

Sometimes i don't understand why people make life so complicated.

Friends confessing their inner self, friends that i have to let go (perhaps soon)

and friends who.... are very ambiguous.

"Come away, come away, death."

have been listening to Finzi's Let Us Garlands Bring.

I love the piano accompaniment and the melody writing for the voice.

This song somehow brings a little peace to this unsettling mind of mine.

"Fly away, fly away, breath"

I'm also frustrated with my singing.

These few week's voice coaching hasn't really been pleasant,

well at least to me.

"it is always not enough"

I need to express more,

but what about my breath? does it have what it takes to support me on?

My voice coacher keeps pushing and pushing me.

Trying to get me out of my own box.

It's also interesting how an extrovert like me have no problems expressing my feelings

in everyday life

but yet can't express myself the same way as when in singing.

I believe a part of the reason goes to technically not being there yet.

And therefore my mind and body feels that it's not ready to release myself out from the box yet.

Have been struggling with breath support this week,

thankfully i am satisfied by my practice today in school

i worked the support out.

Partly thanks to kishani's masterclass too.

So amazing how a mere thought (of support) can affect your voice.

Ah yes, we had our last performance yesterday.

Mozart's requiem, edited by Robert Levin

Overall, it was averagely passable.

But i'm also feeling disgruntled.

Why must we compensate to (emptiness) of people not contributing?

They don't sing properly, and make us cover for them.

Followers, those who are unsure of entrances.

Ugh, i've discussed much about this with my friends so i won't say any much more.

Yeah basically this is a summary of what is mainly happening in my life right now!

Good things and Bad.

It's just a phase that we all have to go through,

i guess.